Changes All Around Us.

I think it is very interesting to watch people change. Everyone changes. But do they change for the better or the worse? For me though, that isn't really even the most interesting question. The most interesting question is which person is really them and which one are they masking? Some people you can tell right away and some people you have no idea. But really no one will ever really know expect for that person.

I have changed quite a bit in the past seven years. I used to be this guy who was always hanging out with his friends, having a good time. Always talking and helping my five best friends and just enjoying my childhood and teenage life. Then I began to push them away and isolate myself because of shit that was going on in my life. I become mean, not talking much, annoyed, this and that. Then I got out of that point in my life. Lost a lot of friends but reconnected with my five close friends and found a girl who I fall madly in love with. I was always with her and wanting to hang out with her and loving her. I wanted nothing but to just treat her right and always have that passion and make sure she knew how special she really was. I was one of the happiest guys alive. I had five great friends and an amazing girlfriend that I knew within a year that she could/was definitely the one I wanted for the rest of my life. Then two major things happened within a year and a half and I just lost myself. Gave up on everything I suppose. I was there but I wasn't "really" there. I had no emotions really. Didn't really care to see anyone, talk, share, hang out, have fun, etc.. Began pushing my girlfriend away because I was never really there and in reality all I really wanted was her and my family around me and loving me. But I couldn't give that back because I was so lost and gone and I didn't even know it. And now, even after losing quite a bit, I see things in a different light. I see who I really am and who I want to be. Is it too late for a few things, yes probably. But I guess at least through all the changes in my life I realized who I really am I don't ever want to change that.

I knew a guy who was a very loving guy. He was a charmer. He was always giving to people and helping people out. He was always having people over and hosting things to get everyone together. He always seemed to be there when you didn't expect him to be and was always there on every special occasion and party. You always felt very happy and loved when you were around him because he just gave off that vibe. Then slowly but surly he began distancing himself from people. He grew angry. be began drinking and taking prescriptions regularly. Stopped caring about what other people were feeling or how his actions made other people feel. He completely stopped talking to parts of his family because of a reason I'll never know. Was he just putting on a act and posing as the first person and his true colors came out? I think so, but only he really knows.

My first girlfriend, which we were together for about a year was a sweet, and very nice person. She would do anything for anyone. Didn't even matter if it wasn't her own family, or if she even really knew them, she would just do things beyond what anyone expects one person to do that it changed peoples lives. She had a strong relationship and was an amazing girlfriend and everyone could tell because they were always together laughing and in love. Then one day, it's like no one knew who she was anymore. She began to drink and do drugs. She disappeared in peoples lives that loved her and cared about her. She decided she wanted to sleep around a lot more and she wanted a different type of guy and boyfriend. It kind of seemed like she stopped caring about herself anymore and who she really was. But who is she really? Was she just pretending and masking the first person she was and this is who she really is. Or was that really who she was and she changed for the worse unfortunately? Who really knows. But it is very interesting to see that change.

I knew a guy who did drugs almost everyday. Not just weed or whatever. Coke, heroine, pills, etc... He was friends with all sorts of people that wanted the same thing. Slept with girls here and there, no condom or anything, just didn't care. Treated others around him who tried to give their opinion or help like shit. Didn't really care about school. He was smart so he got by but didn't care what it was doing for him or the purpose of it. Then all of sudden out of the blue, Have no idea what triggered it, he stopped everything completely. Called people he probably never would for help. Went through some hard and tough times trying to get over it. He is now one of the smartest and nicest guys I have known. Would do anything for anyone he truly cares about. and just completely did an 180. It was crazy to see that change and his whole story could be very inspirational to many. You can tell that this is the person he really is too.

I could go on with many stories with many people I know and have met in my life. But the point is that change is everywhere. Death, school, people, words, etc..change people everyday. Change is supposed to happen. It's inevitable. It's how you deal with that change that will change everything. Because you can easily take the wrong route and change into someone you aren't and who isn't you. I have taken that route and it isn't fun to try to get back to who you really are. So yes change, but change for the better but never change into a person who you really aren't